Who Am I?

Have you ever thought, “Who am I?” Have you ever wondered, “Why am I here?”

 

I have. It was a question that had haunted me especially after my car accident back in the 1980s. My car was crushed in a near head-on collision, which ended in my vehicle rolling over and collapsing on the roof. By all accounts I should have died. Instead, I suffered an injury that required six operations over the course of the next two years. The memory of my injury is a constant reminder of my brush with death and a daily question mark on why I was allowed to live. 

My life continued with this question starting and ending my days, as I relentlessly pursued the answer. I thought a university degree would be the solution. Then I thought a career would provide the answer I was seeking. Both of these attempts to find my identity and a reason for my existence failed miserably. Being a rational thinker, I thought I would try it on my own, so I started a small business. This business grew and was building to be a great success, but it still did not answer my question.

Each project I had tackled, I excelled at. Each goal I had set, I achieved. But at the end of the day, as I admired the awards, the certificates, and the degrees on the wall, I still felt empty. “Who am I?” loomed heavier the harder I tried to find the answer. 

Fifteen years of searching and I had come up with nothing. I was exhausted. I had nowhere else to go and no one else to ask. It was here, in this resigned and defeated state that I realized I did not have all the answers. In an act of desperation, I looked up and asked God Himself, “Why am I here?”

He had been waiting for me to ask. In His loving patience, God had allowed me to look for the answer on my own and pursue every reason I felt that might have led me to the reason for my being. But in the end, only God, in His ultimate wisdom, had the true answer.  

The reply God fed me might be different than what He gives you. But don’t spend your limited time chasing empty reasons like I did. Don’t spend your energy looking for answers in your own strength. God has a plan and a purpose for all of us. What you need to do is spend time pursuing God and He will provide you with your identity.

Where can you start? It’s easy. Commit time to listening to God. Prayer and reading the Bible are the ways in which God communicates with us. It’s taken me many years to finally stop being who I thought I wanted to be and start being who God wants me to be.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV).

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About Kimberley Payne

Author -- Speaker Kimberley Payne is a motivational speaker and author. Her writings relate raising a family, pursuing a healthy lifestyle, and everyday experiences to building a relationship with God. Through her work, Kimberley hopes to inspire people to live their life to glorify God. You can visit her website at www.kimberleypayne.com
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